Relationships

This morning I found myself, on the way to school, helping my daughters navigate their relationship. And as I'm giving them amazing advice I started to think about my own relationships, especially the one with my hubby. So, I wanted to take this time & blog space to thank him & declare how much I appreciate him. I know, some of you will stop reading, but DON'T!!! I won't be mushy for long!

How often do we take the time to stop & think about how we are treating the people around us. Especially those we "love"? I mean really stop...not just the fly by "I love you's" or the quick hug. Now I know some of you are awesome at taking date nights or making a point to spend time with friends. But, I know that a lot of us struggle with really stopping & really appreciating those in our lives. We are all busy & running around trying just to make it through! This particular season in my life is nuts! I am running from place to place & job to job trying not to miss anything important.

As I gave my children this amazing advice about being kind & loving each other, I realized I was missing something super important. I do the fly by "I love you's" a lot & I try to make sure I connect with a hug or hand on the shoulder. But, how often do I stop, look into my husband's eyes (or my friend, family member, kids) and tell them "I love you because..." Especially those that maybe don't demand our immediate attention. I'm always joking that our dog gets more attention than I do. I believe that is because she will stand there, tail wagging, licking, until you acknowledge her. (and she's super furry & cute :) ) But, my husband is not one of those people that demands attention. He works hard & just keeps going & going. He rarely asks for anything & I think sometimes, maybe without even realizing it, I take advantage of that.

Sometimes in our relationships we can get to a place of "how did we get here?" I know we often get to those places in our marriage. Sometimes we're not as intentional as we need to be, life gets in the way, all of the sudden some life situation hits us like a 2x4. Whatever the case may be, we wind up somewhere we had no intention of winding up & we're lost. We're frustrated & angry & disconnected. For some reason, even if it's unintentional, it is so hard to come back from those places. And maybe we are even justified. I don't have great advice on how to make it back. I believe that our marriage is covered in prayer & stubbornness to make sure we never stay there long. But, we're not always great at recovering. I know that God plays the most important role in our relationship, but we're not always in tune with how He wants to fix things or how He would have us navigate this relationship. And a lot of times we're not on the same page together and frankly we are selfish. So, how do we get back?

One way, for me, is today. I am stopping & publicly saying...Philip I love you! I appreciate how hard you work & how much time you take with your family. I can't thank you enough for all the sacrifices you make everyday to make sure this family is well taken care of. And not just financially, but relationally as well. I appreciate the effort you have been making with Mackenzie lately. How much you have been trying to show her love & giving her what she needs in her own crazy little language. Thank you thank you thank you!!! I cherish our relationship & I know that I wouldn't have as much joy & laughter & comfort & security without you! I thank God that I have you everyday! And I want to make sure that I'm not taking advantage of you & all that you are willing to do for me & for our family! You are such a huge blessing in my life! There are so many other things I need to say thank you for and will make sure to do that before the day is over!!

I'm going to end this post with a song by Sara Groves (my favorite song writer!!!) This song just happened to come up when I was driving home from dropping off the girls & was a big inspiration for writing this post today. I pray that whatever relationship is on your mind right now, that you don't allow tenderness to disappear! That you would stop today & say "I love you because..." I encourage you to call, email or text your mom or dad, or siblings or husband, wife, best friend, whomever needs to hear from you!

It's Me by Sara Groves


Weather came and caught us off our guard
We were just laughing and feelin' alright
had such a great time just last night
We walked into a minefield undetected
You took a tone and I took offense
anger replacing all common sense

Oh run for you life
all tenderness is gone
In the blink of an eye
all good will has withdrawn
We mark out our paces and
stare out from our faces
But baby you and I are gone gone gone

Incomprehensible layers of isolation
Now your the man with a heart of stone
making me pay here by being alone
Seemingly justified righteous indignation
Now I'm the woman who holds all her pain
looking for somebody else to blame

We hold all the keys to our undoing
Cutting me down in small degrees
You know my worst insecurities
I'm making no effort to understand
No one can hurt you like I can
Deep down inside the girl's waking up
She's calling out to the boy she loves

Oh run for you life
all tenderness is gone
In the blink of an eye
all good will has withdrawn
We mark out our paces and
stare out from our faces
But baby you and I are gone gone gone

It's me
Oh baby it's me
How in the world can tenderness be gone
In the blink of an eye

The girl in me she's callin out
Oh the girl in me she's callin out
to the boy in you 
Baby come back
baby come back to me